Most days I don’t feel old enough – or smart enough – or wise enough – to handle various situations..
Isn’t there someone more capable?
More competent?
More gracious?
Older & wiser?
Someone who is better equipped to make the decision, handle the conversation or walk the road?
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These are often the thoughts that float around in my head. The questions that I ask God.
I’m not at all desiring the easy way out. It’s out of a desire for the “right” thing to be done and not certain that I’m the gal for the job.
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And another tension point is realized again and again. I’m glad I don’t feel old enough or competent enough. I’m glad I’m not so sure of myself that I try to handle things alone. I’m also glad that He has designed me with just enough boldness and persistence and hard-headedness to plunge into situations to see how He wants to use me.
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So, if there comes a time when I feel quite capable and wise, I should probably do some heavy-duty questioning. It is not me, but Him through me. The One who has blessed me with the role of wife and mom and called me into leadership Who will equip and use me. It’s a mystery that I’ll never understand.
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Why me?
I’ll never be enough.
I’m willing.
And I’ll take the next step in making the decision and having the conversation and walking that road to see how He plans to use me.
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